By Adeola Coker, Ph.D. and Gayle Brazeau, Ph.D.
Essential to professional and personal growth is the ability to receive, evaluate, and utilize constructive feedback that one receives from colleagues, peers, and supervisors. Getting feedback can be tough, especially when it is criticism you did not anticipate or do not want to hear. Here we suggest five strategies you should consider when receiving feedback.
1) Even if the feedback is not what you were expecting, you should always acknowledge and thank the individual for the gift of information and time they are providing to you. It is not intuitive to say “thank you” when one initially receives negative feedback, especially when as an individual you do not believe it is initially true or you disagree with the topic being discussed. However, a simple thank you establishes an environment for the conversation to continue and for you to take the time to question and learn the basis for this information. For example, you should focus the discussion on asking follow-up questions to enable you to dig deeper into the conversation so you can benefit from this conversation.
2) During this conversation, it is important to ask clarifying questions as the information the other individual is conveying to you often may get lost in translation given you are trying to listen while at the same time you processing what is being conveyed during this challenging conversation. You should seek to learn more about the situation that has led to the current conversation by asking questions such as, “Can you give me a specific example of how I could have acted, or what I could have done differently?” Asking follow-up questions to understand the impact of your actions helps you better see the other person’s perspective and think about how or what you could have done to improve in the future.
3) Avoid becoming defensive and taking this information personally. It is certainly personal at that time, but a defensive attitude puts up a wall and makes it difficult to assess feedback objectively. You should remember that this is an occasion where you are being provided with feedback that you may not see because it is something in your individual blind spot. You do not have to agree or act on it at the time. But you owe it to yourself to listen, take the time to reflect, and decide how and what you can do to improve professionally and personally. For example, you should focus on asking follow-up questions which enables you to dig deeper, with the goal of learning how to benefit from the feedback.
If you find that you do not agree with the information being provided, a simple “thank you for sharing this with me” followed by “I will think about what you have suggested and how I could do it differently in the future” helps you to become less defensive thus diffusing the situation. This “thank you” is an acknowledgement which allows you to step away from the conversation and provides you with time to think through it, rather than getting into a disagreement or worse, a confrontation, over the feedback.
4) It becomes easy as you think about the feedback to assign blame or not accept responsibility for what may have happened. A fourth suggestion is to ask yourself “How can I use this feedback to improve or what could I have done differently in the future?” You should think critically and analytically from your perspective, the perspective of others who may have been involved with the specific situation that precipitated feedback, as well as consider the larger context of your organization and the organizational culture. Perhaps, there was something you overlooked either intentionally or unintentionally, did not ask the appropriate questions or seek clarification, did not commit the time and efforts to following through, or misinterpreted the data, project, or situation.
5) With this information, you need to finally do more than just say “I will do better next time.” As a fifth suggestion, this is an opportunity to establish your personal S.M.A.R.T goals for improvement. It is important to set your individual goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound to bring about the change you want to see for yourself in the future. One can work with the feedback provider to drill down on specific actionable goals. Making the goals measurable and time-based makes you accountable to yourself and to others. The change must be relevant to the specific feedback provided to you. For example, deciding to quit your job after being reprimanded for tardiness is not helpful or does not allow you to grow professionally and personally. Making specific plans to arrive at work on time, every day, developing a method to ensure you keep track of assignments and their due dates, and following through on commitments helps you build important work habits you can continue to employ in the current and future employment settings.
When receiving feedback, it is important to say thank you. You must be open, not defensive, to fully benefit from this learning opportunity. Take responsibility and learn how you can grow from the feedback. An essential component in this process is to ask clarifying questions to learn and reflect from the feedback. Finally thinking and establishing your personal SMART goals helps you create the change you need to grow and advance in your career.