By Manas Mandal, Professor and Fulbright Scholar, Roseman University of Health Sciences College of Pharmacy, Ivelisse Colón-Rivera, Director, Pfizer Inc., and Kim Huynh-Ba, Managing Director, Pharmalytik Consulting LLC
As discussed in our previous article [1] mentoring plays a pivotal role in personal and professional development toward success and growth. The mentor-mentee relationship is a dynamic and unique relationship, fostering a connection that provides tailored guidance and support for the mentee [2]. In various areas, professional and personal, mentoring has proven to be a cornerstone for skills enhancement, knowledge transfer and the cultivation of critical life skills [3]. A mentor can help individuals navigate the complexity of their career journey, offer insights, encouragement, and wisdom that can significantly impact one’s trajectory. However, if not carefully directed, it may become stressful and dissatisfying to both mentor and mentees. The art of mentoring is a learned or acquired skill set, yet there are few resources available to ‘train the trainer,’ the mentor [4]. Like the pitfalls in the expectation of mentees, these are some of the mistakes that mentors often engage in, perhaps in an effort to be the best mentor, that actually backfire and do not work. These common mistakes should be avoided to foster a candid two-way communication and a healthy mentor-mentee relationship.
Pretend that you have all the answers.
There is a common tendency in many of us not to say ‘no.’ This may be ingrained in cultural and developmental aspects of our life. But realistically, one cannot have all the answers, which is also true in mentoring. Your mentee is an individual with a unique background, expertise, and skillsets in a specific position with some common and unique professional and personal developmental needs. As a mentor, you are likely not to be in the same boat as of your mentee even with the best matching algorithm applied to pair you with your mentee. That makes us, the mentors, vulnerable to pretend that we are ‘Mr. Know-It-All.’ In reality, we are not. Therefore, be honest, do not pretend that you have all the answers during conversation with your mentee. Rather, a better and more prudent approach would be to inform that you do not have that answer, but you will look into it, learn, and will provide the relevant information. Discussing this added information and possible real-life application at the next meeting could be a rewarding experience for both. Another approach may be to introduce the mentee to another colleague who possesses that unique expertise and experience to help. In reality, one cannot have all the expertise and experience to help a mentee in their professional and personal growth and development and seeking help outside the relationship might enrich both mentor-mentee. The acceptance of shortcomings will also demonstrate honesty and transparency to your mentee, increasing trust and openness in the relationship.
Listen carefully to your mentee to learn her/his needs.
As mentioned in the previous section, mentees are individuals with unique traits and needs, which also vary tremendously among individuals. Therefore, before jumping into offering advice and solutions, it is imperative to listen to your mentee very closely and patiently. Active listening is a great art and a sure way to learn about an unknown individual and their unique needs, without assumptions and minimizing biases. When we listen to the mentee, we not only learn about that person’s professional needs but also begin to know and understand that individual within their own personal context. Unfortunately, careful and active listening are often the most overlooked aspect of a successful mentorship, which should be avoided with proactive intent. Through active and careful listening, the mentor learns and focuses on what mentee is truly communicating – often behind the words – their emotions, perspectives, and concerns. This also involves asking relevant questions to gain further insight into the mentee’s needs, and thus becomes a learning experience for the mentor. Unless a mentor actively listens to what the mentee has to say, a tailored strategy and a comprehensive approach cannot be devised to help the mentee in achieving her/his career goals and professional development.
Offer something that you do not have any direct experience with.
Do you remember the last time when you jumped in on offering advice on which you did not have any direct experience? Yes- although many of us have done that sometimes in the past, this should be avoided. Similar to never pretending to have all the answers, we should refrain from offering solid advice on something that we do not have any direct experience with. Although we can learn and know things by reading, listening, and talking to professionals with direct experience and expertise, that does not make us experienced experts in that domain. Without direct experience one lacks the journey, the dos and don’ts, strategic planning, timeline and the whole nine yards of the ball game. Thus, without direct experience, what comes up in our conversation with the mentee is a shallow offering of a solution/strategy for upward movement and growth for the mentee. Therefore, the golden rule in this situation is to redirect to proper resources available elsewhere who may have direct experience in that area. One should not be shy about this situation rather than taking a proactive approach to redirecting at the very onset, as one cannot have all and every experience in the world as mentioned earlier. In this context, it is also important to understand that although one may not have a ‘direct experience’ in something does not mean that she/he does not know anything about it. There is a fine distinction between expertise and overall understanding or basic knowledge. With an overall understanding we (mentors) can have a preliminary conversation with the mentee, but when it comes to expert advice, it is better to leave it for the experts. In that situation it will be the mentor’s responsibility to get that expert advice and pass it along or connect the mentee to that expert for advice on that specific aspect.
Generalize your mentee.
As we are all unique and at the same time diverse human beings and individuals, therefore, it is a moot point to generalize your mentee. Mentees would not enjoy being generalized and when it unfortunately happens, it destroys the very purpose of mentorship. A mentor-mentee relationship (mentorship) is very individualistic with our own professional and personal journey; from both angles: mentor and mentee. And this journey is sacred and needs to be preserved and honored in this conversation. The first task of a mentor is to know the mentee as an individual through active listening, and only then we would be able to offer specific guidance and resources for a specific circumstance, need, and/or goal. Otherwise, this exercise may end up being a (badly done) ‘Google search’!
Promise to solve all the problems for your mentee.
Another golden rule of mentorship is never promising to solve all the problems for your mentee, because you simply do not have the ability to do so. Be pragmatic and realistic in what you can offer, and what is never the responsibility or expectation in this (mentorship) situation. Overpromising and underdoing create problems in every situation, and mentorship is not an exception. A mentor must be honest with mentee, learn to say ‘no’ and establish realistic expectations and boundaries. It may not be easy, but it is the right thing to do, as only then a real solution, support or resource can be found elsewhere. This basic honesty and candid approach should be viewed as a strength by the mentee which would lead to a more respectful and productive relationship benefiting both.
Conclusion
In summary, the importance of mentoring in professional and personal growth and development cannot be overstated. It is a symbiotic relationship that not only benefits the mentee but also enriches the mentor [5, 6]. Here we discussed some of the critical aspects of mentoring in the context ‘what not to do’ (rather than ‘what to do’) as mentoring is a learned skill or acquired process. While mentoring programs are now available at many corporations and institutions, there is hardly any training for the mentors. We hope that some of the ‘not to do’ aspects discussed here will help ‘train the trainer.’ In turn, the trainer (mentor) would be able to provide an impactful mentoring experience that extends far beyond the immediate gains, contributing to the development of a resilient, confident, and interconnected scientific community where individuals are inspired to reach their full potential.
References
1. Top five mistakes in seeking a mentor relationship. Ivellisse Colon-Rivera, Manas Mandal, and Kim Huynh-Ba. AAPS Newsmagazine, November 2024.
2. Mentorship Landscape and Common Practices in an Academic Pharmacy Association. Shannon Kinney, Kristin M. Janzen, Kelly M. Shields, Jaclyn Tetenbaum-Novatt, Manas Mandal, Ryan E. Owens, Christina M. Seeger, Susan Smith, Emmeline Tran, Jamie L. Wagnerj, Kimberly Zitko, Justin Kinney, Lea S. Eiland. AJPE, 87 (5) 100049, 2023.
3. Mentorship in the health professions: a review. Burgess A, van Diggele C, Mellis C. Clin Teach. 15(3):197–202, 2018.
4. A call for training the trainers: focus on mentoring to enhance diversity in mental health research. Dilip V Jeste, Elizabeth W. Twamley, Veronica Cardenas, Barry Lebowitz, and Chrles F. Reynolds. Am J Public Health. 99 (Suppl 1): S 33-S37, 2009.
5. The Unwritten Rules of Mentorship: Facilitators of and Barriers to Effective Mentorship in Pediatric Hospital Medicine. Jana C. Leary, Elisabeth G. Schainker, and JoAnna K. Leyenaar. Hosp. Pediatr. 6 (4): 219-225, 2016.
6. Mentorship in medicine and other health professions. Nayanee Henry-Noel, Maria Bishop, Clement K. Gwede, Ekaterina Petkova, and Ewa Szumacher. Journal of Cancer Education 34: 629-637, 2018.